NYC Needsa Televised Shebeen Smackdown

Swakopmund in june: a crisp Atlantic breeze, beautiful dunes, and the soothing sound of national youth leaders exchanging right hooks, purportedly over voter verification lists.

We all know the chaos was proudly sponsored by senior moneyed youth who still feel the need to meddle in the affairs of their old stomping ground (lest a new sheriff unravel past indiscretions).

The shenanigans only started when it became clear that one of the Simon factions was not going to survive. When one takes issue with attendance lists, why wait until you lose a vote badly?

If you thought the coastal fog was thick, it had nothing on the sharpness shown by delegates to the third National Youth Council General Assembly. What was supposed to be a civilised gathering to elect the next big boss transformed into a full contact sport, leaving nine delegates injured and the rest of us wondering if the leadership process should be replaced with an actual, literal cage fight.

Clearly the current way of choosing leaders is too boring for the upcoming generation. Why waste time on debates when you can stage a massive walkout because someone’s name got left off a piece of paper?